tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52724184770921256972024-03-13T10:44:27.473-04:00Humanist Bible StudyA Humanist perspective on what we can learn about what is morality from the Bible.JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.comBlogger333125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-64547125365241227022023-05-15T10:34:00.002-04:002023-05-15T10:34:22.204-04:00Bad Samaritans and Good Samaritans<p> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-weight: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are apparently people saying the guy who killed Jordan Neely on the subway in NY is a good Samaritan. It's astonishing that most of the people saying this - are Christians and clearly DON"T understand the parable of the Good Samaritan.</span></p><div class="CQmeg" style="background-color: white; border: none; display: flex; font-family: Favorit, "Helvetica Neue", HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 540px;"><button aria-label="Image" class="TRX6J k4_Vq seYEy" style="-webkit-box-align: unset; -webkit-box-decoration-break: unset; -webkit-box-direction: unset; -webkit-box-flex: unset; -webkit-box-ordinal-group: unset; -webkit-box-orient: unset; -webkit-box-pack: unset; -webkit-box-reflect: unset; -webkit-font-smoothing: unset; -webkit-highlight: unset; 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user-select: unset; vector-effect: unset; vertical-align: unset; view-transition-name: unset; visibility: unset; white-space: unset; widows: unset; width: 540px; will-change: unset; word-break: unset; word-spacing: unset; writing-mode: unset; x: unset; y: unset; z-index: unset; zoom: unset;"><span class="EvhBA" style="border: none; color: inherit; display: block; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" tabindex="-1"><figure class="DdFPj" data-login-wall-blog-name="jenthehumanist" data-login-wall-post-id="717394414751907840" data-login-wall-post-slug="bad-samaritans-and-good-samaritans" data-login-wall-redirect="/dashboard" data-login-wall-text="But there's good news. Get free samples from now until, well, the ends of time itself by signing up for Tumblr and getting unlimited access not just to this blog, but countless others like it." data-login-wall-title="Seems we're out of free samples." data-login-wall-type="blogView" style="border: none; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: 540px;"><div class="HsI7c" style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 553.062px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: 540px;"><img alt="Image" class="RoN4R tPU70 xhGbM" loading="lazy" sizes="(max-width: 540px) 100vw, 540px" srcset="https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc7c53d74966f45c695ccc20b09c077d/b247aa42716e3006-d8/s100x200/d3eb8b5efaa231a8089da29c6defa2c0655e9126.jpg 100w, https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc7c53d74966f45c695ccc20b09c077d/b247aa42716e3006-d8/s250x400/4367c7f4cdb03593b66299984936dd0b328cd40b.jpg 250w, https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc7c53d74966f45c695ccc20b09c077d/b247aa42716e3006-d8/s400x600/2920e5fb84729887fb680c62f5c5d6e77be81ee5.jpg 400w, https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc7c53d74966f45c695ccc20b09c077d/b247aa42716e3006-d8/s500x750/d5b2a4a322c5b003c1cc71ed5a799cc69f63c69c.jpg 500w, https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc7c53d74966f45c695ccc20b09c077d/b247aa42716e3006-d8/s540x810/b8e7c84fa28186d04821cbcac114a2360f62b717.jpg 540w, https://64.media.tumblr.com/dc7c53d74966f45c695ccc20b09c077d/b247aa42716e3006-d8/s640x960/a8cd969f779214ed44cd7b1deeabbd7b4c0ecca0.jpg 620w" style="background-color: RGB(var(--white)); border: none; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: 553.062px; left: 0px; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; object-fit: cover; padding: 0px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; visibility: visible; width: 540px;" /></div></figure></span></button></div><div class="k31gt" style="background-color: white; border: none; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Favorit, "Helvetica Neue", HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin: 15px 0px; min-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: var(--post-padding); padding-right: var(--post-padding); padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 540px; word-break: break-word;"><p style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 0.75em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So - For anyone who's actually read it - and not just been told about it - but actually read the story for themselves it's clear that the parable as 2 morals. 1) be kind and help strangers in need. 2) don't judge strangers as evil just because they are strangers.</p></div><div class="k31gt" style="background-color: white; border: none; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Favorit, "Helvetica Neue", HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin: 15px 0px; min-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: var(--post-padding); padding-right: var(--post-padding); padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 540px; word-break: break-word;"><p style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 0.75em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The context of this is that Jesus' audience hated Samaritans. In modern times think of Christian Nationalists describing black people as "thugs" or as describing hispanic people as "illegal immigrants." Same thing. When Jesus was talking about the Samaritan, he's talking about someone his audience thinks of as a lawless thug. To them, there is no such thing as a "good Samaritan." The parable is Jesus correcting them. </p></div><div class="k31gt" style="background-color: white; border: none; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Favorit, "Helvetica Neue", HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin: 15px 0px; min-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: var(--post-padding); padding-right: var(--post-padding); padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 540px; word-break: break-word;"><p style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 0.75em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Next - the parable is about how someone the audience thinks of a lawless thug (aka - a Samaritan) does not KILL or steal or harm the beaten suffering man as the audience would expect. Instead, the Samaritan helps him. And Jesus' audience finds that shocking because - he's a Samaritan! But this Samaritan is a good Samaritan not a bad Samaritan. Don't judge all Samaritans as bad. They are humans capable of goodness. And in this case they display more kindness and compassion than Jesus' audience does. Jesus is totally shaming his audience for their lack of compassion. </p></div><div class="k31gt" style="background-color: white; border: none; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Favorit, "Helvetica Neue", HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin: 15px 0px; min-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: var(--post-padding); padding-right: var(--post-padding); padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 540px; word-break: break-word;"><p style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 0.75em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The guy who strangled a stranger to death in the subway isn't a "good Samaritan." He's the guy who injured the stranger who was left for dead on the side of the road in the parable. He's the bad guy. The good Samaritan is the person who HELPS the stranger on the side of the road. Not the guy who injures/kills the stranger. </p></div><div class="k31gt" style="background-color: white; border: none; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Favorit, "Helvetica Neue", HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin: 15px 0px; min-height: 1.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: var(--post-padding); padding-right: var(--post-padding); padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 540px; word-break: break-word;"><p style="border: none; font-family: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 0.75em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">And again, the only reason he's a "good" Samaritan is because Jesus' audience thought all Samaritans were bad. So - when you hear Christians demonize anyone, or when they call people thugs or illegal understand that they are still doing what Jesus admonished his followers for doing with this parable and that NONE of them understand the parable of the Good Samaritan. Despite saying they are Christians, they clearly don't understand Jesus' message. </p></div>JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-4194413286506685852019-08-24T09:56:00.002-04:002019-08-24T09:56:53.393-04:00The Book of Job - retranslated<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There is a new translation of the book of Job. Done by a guy who is a language nerd.<br />
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<a href="https://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/posts/2019/07/CULT_Omniovre_JOBFINAL/0fcc2742e.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="605" height="320" src="https://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/posts/2019/07/CULT_Omniovre_JOBFINAL/0fcc2742e.png" width="242" /></a></div>
According to the Atlantic article on this, "Edward L. Greenstein’s new translation of the Book of Job is a work of erudition with—as we shall see—a revolutionary twist. A professor emeritus of Bible studies at Israel’s Bar-Ilan University, Greenstein is not going for the deep-time sonorities of the Authorized Version. His language is lumpy with scholarly fidelity to the text."<br />
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What is apparently cool about this - is that Job - doesn't say he's sorry to God when God comes down in his fury.<br /><br />Instead - after saying - I wish I had never been born and life is crap. And after hearing God say - well - that's just how I roll. Job doesn't repent. Instead - he says - well then, I feel sorry for everyone.<br />
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He doesn't capitulate. He remains defiant. Which is AWESOME!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/09/job-edward-l-greenstein/594769/">https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/09/job-edward-l-greenstein/594769/</a><br />
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God's response to this defiance is to restore to Job all he had lost. His friends - who told him to repent are told to go make some offerings. Job - is rewarded for being honest with God.<br />
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James Parker, the author of the article, sums up what this new translation means about who God is in this book. "Maybe that’s what this God, faced with this Job, is telling us: Bring it all before him, the full grievance of your humanity. Bring him your condition, loudly. Let him have it."<br />
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A more compassionate God - certainly would be more humanistic than an uncaring - demand fealty god</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-5497960735884880822018-01-12T14:15:00.002-05:002018-01-12T14:15:38.624-05:00Biblical Scholar Interview<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am not a biblical scholar. I'm just a person who has been reading the Bible from a Humanist perspective to see what I think of it.<br />
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But this woman, Professor Francesca Stavrakopoulou, is. And she's an atheist and the head of a theology department at Exeter University.<br />
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She's funny and interesting and views the Bible the same way I do. I loved her interview and thought you might too. Obviously - even among Biblical Scholars her views are a bit - controversial, but not as controversial as you might think.<br />
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<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7xVBldyy_Oo" width="560"></iframe></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-80844928464534789172015-06-10T06:00:00.000-04:002015-06-10T06:00:01.262-04:002 Kings 9: Jezebel is killed<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Elisha has one of the children of the prophets go to Jehu, son of Jehoshaphat and pour oil on him and declare he will be king over all Israel and then they fled. He is ordered to smite the hose of Ahab. The dogs shall eat Jezebel and there shall be none to bury her. Jehu goes out to the servants; they blow trumpets and declare him king. Jehu conspires against Joram of Israel, who is in Jezreel heeling. Ahaziah, king of Judah, nephew of Jehu is visiting him. Jehu rides furiously to Jezreel. Joram and Ahaziah come out to meet him and ask him if he is coming in peace. The answer is no. What peace, so long as the whoredoms of your mother Jezebel are so many? Joram flees. Jehu draws his bow and sends an arrow between his arms. It came out through his heart. Ahaziah sees this and flees, but Jehu follows him and smote him also. Ahaziah flees to Megiddo and dies there. Jezebel is now aware of what Jehu is doing. He looks up to the window of the servants of Jezebel and asks, who is on my side. Two or three eunichs throw Jezebel down. She is trampled under the feet of the horses. Jehu enters the palace and eats and drinks and then tells the servants to bury Jezebel, but there is nothing left but her skull.<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Jehu, son of Jehoshaphat kills Jezebel and the other kings and takes over.<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 9:3 – Then take the box of oil, and pour it on his head, and say, Thus saith the Lord, I have anointed thee king over Israel. Then open the door, and flee and tarry not.<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 9:33: And he said, Throw her down. So they threw her down: and some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall, and on the horses: and he trode her under foot. (Very graphic, very disturbing)<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Most interesting bit:</h4>
Ahaziah is the nephew of Jehu. So his brother had become king and he plots against his nephew and when he can kill both his nephew and the king of Israel he does it. Very clever.<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Best comeback:</h4>
2 Kings 9:22 And it came to pass, when Joram saw Jehu, that he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, What peace, so long as the whoredoms of thy mother Jezebel and her witchcrafts are so many?<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Be strategic about WHEN you act (2 Kings 9)<br />
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</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-14533929356510148942015-06-10T05:59:00.000-04:002015-06-10T05:59:00.116-04:002 Kings 10: Jehu cleans house<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Jehu writes to the people raising Ahab’s 70 sons and tells them to kill the kids and deliver their heads. Which they do. All that remained of the house of Ahab were slew in Jezreel. Jehu goes to Samaria and meets with the family of Ahaziah. He kills all 42 men. Jehu then goes to Samaria and asks to meet all the prophets of Baal saying, Ahab served Baal, but I shall serve him much more. He calls for a great feast and once all the worshippers of Baal are together, he kills them all. The Lord promises Jehu that his children for four generations shall sit on the throne of Israel. Which is nice, but Jehu doesn’t walk with the low of the Lord God of Israel. So the Lord begins to give parts of Israel to others, like Hazael of Syria. Jehu reigns for 28 years.<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Now that Jehu is king, he kills all his rivals including the family of Ahab, Ahazial and all the worshippers of Baal.<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 10:31 But Jehu took no heed to walk in the law of the Lord God of Israel with all his heart: for he departed not from the sins of Jeroboam, which made Israel to sin. (God chooses him specially and he STILL doesn’t do what God wants!)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Most interesting bit:</h4>
2 Kings 10:1-7 – Jehu writes letters to the prominent men who are raising the sons of Ahab and they are so afraid of him, they kill their wards. It’s interesting how this plays out. <br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Most strategic bit:</h4>
2 Kings 10:18-28 – the destruction of Baal from Israel. Basically, he organizes a gathering so ALL the prophets and followers will be in the same place. And he performs a sacrifice. The house of Baal was filled from one end to the other. They killed everyone, destroyed all the images and vestments and turned the house of Baal into a draught house.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 10:13,14 - Jehu meets with the brethren of Ahaziah and takes them alive, slays them in the pit of a shearing house.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Even if you eliminate all your competition, your problems aren’t over (2 King 10)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-43719574551975768292015-06-03T06:00:00.000-04:002015-06-03T06:00:01.593-04:002 Kings 7: The siege ends<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Elisha prophesizes that flour shall be sold for a shekel. The lord upon whose hand the king leans who had sought out Elisha questions this, and Elisha says, you will not see this. There were 4 lepers at the city gate who decided that if they were going to die of starvation, they might as well go to the Syrians and see if they could get some food. If they are killed, so what, they are going to die anyway. It turns out that in the middle of the night the Syrians had fled because they heard loud noises of “chariots” and “horses.” They thought the Hittites and Egyptians had come to aid Samaria and so they left in a hurry and left their tents, horses and food. The lepers found the tents empty, ate their fill and sole as much gold, silver and raiment as they could carry and hit it and then got some more and hid it. They then went to the king and told him what had happened. The king assumed that this was a trap to get them to leave their walled city to explore the campsite of the Syrians and that the Syrians would jump out of the surrounding woods and kills them. He sent 2 chariot horses and behold, there was no one there. The people went out and spoiled the tents. There was so much food, a measure of flour sold for a shekel – just as Elisha had said. But the lord who had sought out Elisha was trampled in the stampede by the gate and didn’t live to see it.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words: </h4>
The Syrians flee because they think the Hittite’s are attacking. They leave tents, food and supplies. The siege is ended and the Samarians can eat again.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit: </h4>
2 Kings 7:3 – And there were four leprous men at the entering in the gate: and they said one to another, Why sit we here until we die?<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 7:17 And the king appointed the lord on whose hand he leaned to have the charge of the gate: and the people trode upon him in the gate, and he died, as the man of God had said, who spake when the king came down to him.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
It’s good to be cautious, but you must also take risks to succeed (2 Kings 7)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-8381639602992530452015-06-03T05:59:00.000-04:002015-06-03T05:59:00.153-04:002 Kings 8: Kings die and Kings are Replaced<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
The woman whose son was healed by Elisha is told that there will be a 7 year famine so she should leave. When she comes back, all her stuff has been taken. She petitions the king who restores her her home and fiels. The king of Syria, Ben-hadad, gets sick and sends his servant Hazael to ask Elisha whether the king will survive or not. The answer is yes, yu will recover, but you shall surely die. Hazael asks how, and he answers, because I know what you will do, you will be king over Syria. So Hazael goes back, tells the king he will recover. Takes a thick cloth, dips it in water, spreads it on the face of the king, kills him and reigns in his stead. In the fifth year of Joram, son of Ahab of Israel, Jehoram, son of Jehoshaphat of Judah begins to reign. He reigns 32 years and 8 in Jerusalem. He was evil, but god did not destroy him for David’s sake. Edom revolts and names their own king. Joram was unable to stop this. Libnah also revolted. Ahaziah, son of Jehoram of Judah, begins his reigh. He wages war against Syria with Joram, king of Israel/Samaria. Joram is wounded and goes back to Jezreel to heal. <br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Kings die and are replaced. Wars are fought.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 8:15: And it came to pass on the morrow, that he took a thick cloth, and dipped it in water, and spread it on his face, so that he died: and Hazael reigned in his stead. (I realize this is gruesome, but it’s an interesting suffocation technique and it appears that Elisha gave him the idea to do it).<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 8:19: Yet the Lord would not destroy Judah for David his servant’s sake, as he promised him to give him always a light, and to his children. (How many generations have failed to honor this god, and still he doesn’t do anything about it?)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
It doesn’t matter how important something at the time, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really impact anything. (2 Kings 8)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-26570973220176012662015-05-27T06:00:00.000-04:002015-05-27T06:00:04.592-04:002 Kings 5: Elisha heals a leper<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
One of the captains of the king of Syria is noble in valour, but he has leprosy. His wife has a maid from Israel and she says – oh, there is a prophet in Israel who could heal him. So the king of Syria inquires to the king of Israel on behalf of his leprosy ridden captain. The king of Israel tears his clothes – I have no idea how to cure him. When Elisha hears of this he tells the king to let the captain of Syria come to him. The captain comes and Elisha sends a messenger to tell the captain to wash in the Jordan 7 times and his flesh shall become new again. The captain is furious. He was expecting to meet the prophet and to be prayed over. And besides, aren’t the rivers in Syria better than the Jordan? The captain’s servants calmed him down. If the prophet had told you to do a great deed to clean yourself, you would have done it. So why not just wash and be clean. So he did. He went to the Jordan and dipped in 7 times and his flesh was clean and like that of a child. The captain returns to Elisha thanking him and tries to give him a gift, but Elisha refuses. So the captain is sent away. Elisha’s servant Gehazi follows the Syrian captain and asks him for 2 talants of silver and 2 changes of garments. Elisha finds out about this and curses Gehazi with leprosy.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Elisha heals a leper by having him wash in the Jordan River.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 5:10-14 Naaman, the Syrian captain is cranky. I thought , He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the Lord his God, and strike his hand over the place, and recover the leper. But nooooo. The healing is done without the laying on of hands.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
Gehazi taking money from the captain and being turned into a leper by his boss. (2 Kings 5:17-27)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral lesson Learned:</h4>
Flashy solutions aren’t necessarily the best solution. (2 Kings 5)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-22400185647472055142015-05-27T05:59:00.000-04:002015-05-27T05:59:00.348-04:002 Kings 6: The siege of Samaria begins<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
The prophets under Elisha decide to build a new home. One loses his axe head in the Jordan, and Elisha is able to make it float to get it back. In the meantime the King of Syria decides to wage war against Samaria and Elisha tells the king, don’t go to where the king of Syria is camped. The king of Syria wants to know why his plans keep failing and is told that Elisha the prophet is to blame because he keeps warning the king of Israel. So the king of Syria sieges Dothan where Elisha is. A young servant of Elisha wanted to know what they were going to do and Elisha said, don’t worry, we have more on our side. And Elisha asked the Lord to open the young man’s eyes and he saw the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire to protect Elisha. Elisha then asked the Lord to make the Syrians blind. Elisha then leads the Syrians to where they are supposed to go and that is right into the hands of the king of Israel. The king wanted to know if he should smite them. Elisha said no, feed them and send them home. Later, the king Ben-hadad of Syria besieged Samaria. Things got so bad that people started eating their kids. When the king heard of this he rent his clothes and went about in a sackcloth. He orders the head of Elisha to be brought. So he locked the door.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Samaria is sieged by Syria and the king wants Elisha killed.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 6:17 – And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and behold, the mountain was full or horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha. (very cool imagery)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Most interesting bit:</h4>
2 Kings 6:25 – And there was a great famine in Samara: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass’s head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove’s dung for five pieces of silver. (I wonder what dove’s dung is used for. Is it something you eat? – Wikiepedia isn’t very helpful here - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dove%27s_dung">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dove%27s_dung</a>) <br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 6:28,29 – And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son tomorrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
People will do just about anything when they are desperate (2 Kings 6)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-52928905331979148992015-05-20T06:00:00.000-04:002015-05-20T06:00:08.717-04:002 Kings 3: Revolt is in the air<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Jehoram, another son of Ahab takes the thrown. But Mesha of Moab, who is a sheepmaster revolts as he doesn’t want to keep sending sheep and wool to Israel. So Jehoram asks Jehoshaphat of Juda to help him quell the rebellion. So the three kings of Israel, Judah and Edom march for 7 days without food or water. They get desperate and call Elisha to help them out. Elisha tells them to dig ditches and water flowed into them from Edom. The kings of Moab came to fight and in the morning, the sun on the water made it look like rivers of blood. The Moabites figured that the 3 kings had started fighting each other and went out to the camp of Israel to search the spoils only to find the Israelites fine and ready to fight. When the king of Moab saw the battle was lost for him, he took his eldest son and offered him as a burnt offering on the wall. Israelites are disgusted and go home.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Now that Ahab is dead, the Moabites revolt and fail.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 3:23: And they said, This is blood: the kings are surely slain, and they have smitten one another,: now therefore, Moab, to the spoil. (oops)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
2nd favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 3:15 – But now bring me a minstrel. And it came to pass, when the minstrel played, that the hand of the Lord came upon him. (Apparently Elisha needs music to be able to prophesize.)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 3:26,27 – And when the king of Moab saw that the battle was too sore for him, he took with him seven hundred men that drew swords, to break through even unto the king of Edom: but they could not. Then he took his eldest son that should have reigned in his stead, and offered him for a burnt offering upon the wall. And there was great indignation against Israel and they departed from him, and returned to their own land. (So he doesn’t immolate himself to turn public opinion. He immolates his son. Ugh)<br />
<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Just because you want something to be true, doesn’t mean it is true. (2 Kings 3)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-36843273918016153992015-05-20T05:59:00.000-04:002015-05-20T05:59:00.193-04:002 Kings 4: The miracles of Elisha<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Miracle 1: A woman whose husband has died is worried her sons will be taken as bondsmen to pay off her late husband’s death. So Elisha has her gather all the empty vessels she could find. She poured the little oil she had into the vessels until they were all full, then she sold all the oil and was able to pay off the debt.<br />
<br />
Miracle 2: A woman puts out bread and provides shelter for Elisha every time he passes through her town of Shunam. He asks what he can do. She wants a son. She got pregnant, had the son, but when he was grown, he got sick. She put him on Elisha’s bed and went to go find Elisha. He sent his servant Gehazi to put his staff on the child. But the child did not wake up. So Elisha went. He put his mouth upon the child’s mouth his eyes upon his yes and his hands upon his hands and stretched himself up on the child. He got up, walked about and did it again. The child sneezes 7 times and opened his eyes.<br />
<br />
Miracle 3: Elisha makes porrage for the people of Gilgal, but they are afraid it is poisonous. So they add meal to it and everyone ate and no one died. <br />
<br />
Miracle 4: A man brought first fruits, 20 loaves of barley and corn. Elisha said give it to the people. The man didn’t think it was enough, but everyone was able to eat and there was some left over.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Elisha performs a series of miracles.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
Miracle 2: 2 Kings 4:8-37 I love that he did mouth to mouth and used his body to warm up the “dead” kid.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
Miracle 3: 2 Kings 4:38-41 – The problem was a guy they didn’t know had put vines and goards into the pottage and it tasted funny when they went to eat it, so they added meal to make it taste better. There is no guarantee this was a miracle.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
You never know what you can accomplish if you try. 2 Kings 4)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-45722948609154907582015-05-13T06:00:00.000-04:002015-05-13T06:00:04.956-04:002 Kings 1: The son of Ahab dies<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
After Ahab’s death the Moabites rebel. Ahaziah fell through a lattice in his chamber and was sick, so he sent messengers to Baal-zebub, the god of Ekron to see if he would recover. The messengers met the prophet Elijah on the road and he told them to turn back. He told them God was made that Ahaziah had enquired to Baal-zebub and not Him, so Ahaziah will die of his injuries. Ahaziah isn’t happy about this so he sends 3 units of 50 men to try and bring Elijah to him, but Elijah has God kills all 100 of them with fire from heaven. The third unit is spared because the captain of that group asked for mercy. Elijah went with this guard to the king and told him he was going to die, which he did. Jehoram of Judah took over because Ahaziah had no son.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
The king of Israel has an accident and dies from his injuries, leaving no heir.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 1:8 (a description of the prophet Elijah) He was a hairy man, and girt with a girdle of leather about his loins. And he said, It is Elijah the Tishbite.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
2nd favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 1:9-14 – The killing of the king’s men in spectacular fashion. The king sent a captain of 50 with his 50. And he went to Elijah and told him to come down. Elijah answer, “If I be a man of God, then let fire come down from heaven, and consume thee and thy 50.” And there came down fire from heave, and consumed him and his 50. This happens twice. The third captain was smart enough to plead for mercy.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
3rd favorite bit:</h4>
Baal-zebub, the god of Ekron.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
If you are injured, don’t waste your time on prayers, get a doctor! (2 Kings 1)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-62983906130349078822015-05-13T05:59:00.000-04:002015-05-18T12:51:14.256-04:002 Kings 2: Elijah is taken to heaven<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
It was time for Elijah to be taken to heaven. He told Elisha to stay as he was going to Beth-el. But Elisha insisted on going with him. They went to Beth-el together and the son’s of prophets told Elisha that the Lord was going to take away Elijah that day. Elijah then told Elisha to stay in Beth-el as he was going on to Jericho. Again Elisha insisted on coming. And again, the sons of the prophets at Jericho told Elisha that Elijah was going to be taken. Elijah then told Elisha to stay as he was going to Jordan. Again Elisha refused to stay and went with Elijah to Jordan. Elijah took his mantle and parted the waters of the Jordan so he and Elisha could walk across it on dry ground. Elijah asked Elisha what he could do for him before he was taken away. And Elisha asked for a double portion of his spirit. They walked on and a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeard and Elijah went up in a whirlwind into heaven. Elisha witnessed this and tore his clothes in two and took up the mantle of Elijah and used it to part the waters again so he could cross the Jordan. He met up with the sons of the prophets. They convinced him to send men to look for Elijah in case the lord had taken him up and cast him upon some mountain but they didn’t find Elijah’s body. They then asked Elisha to use his new powers to fix the water situation as they were in drought. This Elisha did. On his way to Beth-el – several children came and teased him so he set two she bears upon the kids to tear them apart. He continued on to Mount Carmel and returned to Samaria.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Prophet Elijah is taken to heaven in a whirlwind of fire and Elisha is given his powers.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 2:11 – And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. (I like this because whatever magic Elijah had – all had to do with fire. The sacrifice, the killing of the guards and now this – it’s an apt way for him to disappear).<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<br />Least favorite bit:</h4>
2 Kings 2:23,24 – Some kid tease Elisha calling him baldy so he has them torn apart by bears! 42 of them. They are kids. Seems like overkill to me. Literally.<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<br />What got me thinking:</h4>
Wondering what the trick was. On the other hand, no one witnessed Elijah’s ascension except Elisha so it may not have happened at all. And clearly all the other prophets, including those who warned Elisha that Elijah was leaving, still wondered whether it really happened or had his body be thrown somewhere. Regardless, the idea that he was taken up in a fiery whirlwind is pretty spectacular and would have been an awesome sight to see. Can’t help wondering how modern magicians might pull something like that off. Or, Elisha knew that Elijah just wanted to leave and wouldn’t let him so Elijah – who had planned to just walk away, had to stage something spectacular to get Elisha to stop following him.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Don’t mock people (2 Kings 2)</li>
<li>Don’t overreact to being mocked (2 Kings 2)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-80953598051475318442015-05-06T06:00:00.000-04:002015-05-06T06:00:06.612-04:001 Kings 21: King Ahab is a big fat cry baby <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
King Ahab of Samaria wanted the vineyard of a guy named Naboth because the vineyard was near his palace and he was hoping to turn it into an herb garden. Unfortunately Naboth didn’t want to sell the property. So Ahab threw a tantrum and pouted and stopped eating. His wife, Jezebel, took matters into her own hand, and had 2 guys accused Naboth of blasphemy so he would be stoned to death. Once Naboth was killed, Ahab went to take possession of the property but was met by the prophet Elijah who called him and his wife out as being evil. So Ahab humbled himself and rent his clothes and God was pleased and decided to punish Ahab’s son instead of Ahab.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words: </h4>
King Ahab throws a tantrum when someone refuses to sell him property and God, despite Ahab’s wife committing murder to get the property, decides to punish Ahab’s son because – well – Ahab did tear his clothes in repentance.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
None. The morality of this chapter is so heinous, I can’t find anything to like.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Mildly amusing bit:</h4>
1 Kings 21:4 And Ahab came into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoke to him: for he had said, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. And he laid him down upon his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no bread. (Seriously? The guy is king and this is how he acts when he doesn’t get his way? Seriously?)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 21:29 Seest thou how Ahab humbleth himself before me? Because he humbleth himself before me, I will not bring the evil in his days: but in his son’s days will I bring the evil upon his house. (Seriously? A guy was killed for his property – but because this guy tore his clothes you aren’t going to punish him? Seriously?!)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
God is an egotist who is and easily manipulated (1 Kings 21)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-61733725808157866382015-05-06T05:59:00.000-04:002015-05-06T05:59:00.478-04:001 Kings 22: Ahab dies in battle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
War continues to rage between Israel, Judah and Syria. Jehoshaphat, king of Judah, made a pact with Ahab, king of Israel to fight together to defeat Syria. But Jehoshaphat wouldn’t fight until they knew whether god was on their side or not. The problem is that none of the prophets liked Ahab and were always prophesizing bad things about him. They finally called Micaiah for a formal audience. All the prophets promised that they would prevail. Micaiah told him that they would be slaughtered if they tried. So the king had him taken to prison and fed bread and water of affliction. During the battle, the king was injured by an arrow and killed. King Ahab was buried and his son Ahaziah reigned. Jehoshaphat made peace with Israel. There was no king in Edom. Jehoshaphat tried to send ships of Tharshish to Ophir for gold, but they were sunk at Ezion-geber. Jehoshaphat died and his son Jehoram reigned instead.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
King Ahab wants to go to war, but a prophet tells him he will die, so he puts the prophet in jail, goes to war and is killed.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 21:18 – And the king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat, Did I not tell thee that he would prophesy no good concerning me, but evil?<br />
<br />
<h4>
The bit I want to know more about:</h4>
1 Kings 21:46 – And the remnant of the sodomites, which remained in the days of his father Asa, he took out of the land. (wait – what?)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Don’t ignore bad news just because you don’t want to hear it (1 Kings 21)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-43289136827953504122015-04-22T06:00:00.000-04:002015-04-22T06:00:03.223-04:001 Kings 19: Jezebel seeks revenge<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Jezebel finds out that Elijah had all the prophets of Baal killed and says – you are dead! So Elijah goes to hide in the wilderness. An Angel feeds him for 40 days and nights as he makes his way to Mount Horeb. There God says, what are you doing hiding here? Go to Damascus and annoint Hazael king of Syria, Jehu (son of Nimshi) king of Israel, and Elisha (son of Shaphat) to be prophet. Between Hazael and Jehu killing each other, 7,000 people will remain. So Elijah goes and finds Elisha and gives him his mantle. Elisha asks permission to say goodbye to his family, slays a yoke of oxen and boils them and gives them to the people and follows Elijah.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Jezebel threatens Elijah and Elijah plots her overthrow.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 19:13,14 – Behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah? And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain they prophets with the sword; and I , even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
The fairy tale bit:</h4>
1 Kings 19:5,6 – And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behod, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat. And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a ruse of water at his head.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
The revenge bit:</h4>
1 Kings 19:17 – And it shall come to pass, that him that escapeth the sword of Hazael shall Jehu slay: and him that escapeth from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha slay.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Do not threaten your rivals (1 Kings 19)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-79594884502008782352015-04-22T05:59:00.000-04:002015-04-22T05:59:00.129-04:001 Kings 20: Syria goes to war with Israel and loses. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Ben-hadad, king of Syria had sieged Samara. He sent messengers to Ahab, king of Israel, asking him to surrender. The people of Israel refused. So the king of Syria amassed his army. Israel was able to organize 232 men to fight (there were only 7,000 people in Israel total. Ben Hadad made a tactical error thinking they had come to surrender, but the Israelis fought and slew the Syrians. Ben-hadad escaped on a horse. The Syrians decided that the problem was – they had fought on a hill and clearly the Israeli god was a god of the hills, therefore we should fight them on a plain. So 1 year later, the Syrians in great number when to Aphek. And the Israelis came and pitched their tents and they were like two little flocks of kids compared to the Syrian army. After 7 days, they fought and the Israelis slew 100,000 footmen in 1 day. The rest fled to the city, and a wall fell on them and another 27,000 men died in the rubble. Ben-hadad escaped and asked Ahab for mercy; which was granted. A prophet had a neighbor hit him (it took him 2 tries to get someone to do it) and he went and found king Ahab and told him, God isn’t happy that you let Ben-hadad go free when you should have killed him.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
The kind of Syria wages war against Israel twice, and loses badly, twice, despite vastly outnumbering them.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 20:27 – And the children of Israel were number, and were all present, and went against them: and the children of Israel pitched before them like two little flocks of kids; but the Syrians filled the country.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Adding insult to injury bit:</h4>
1 Kings 20:30 – But the rest fled to Aphek, into the city; and there a wall fell upon twenty and seven thousand of the men that were left.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
That’s not really fair bit:</h4>
1 Kings 20:35, 36 – And a certain man of the sons of the prophets said unto his neighbour in the word of the Lord, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man refused to smite him. Then said he unto him, Because thou hast not obeyed the voice of the Lord, behod, as soon as thou art departed from me, a lion shall slay thee. And as soon as he was departed from him, a lion found him, and slew him.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned: </h4>
Never underestimate your enemy (1 Kings 20)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-59624085602373649572015-04-16T13:40:00.002-04:002015-04-16T13:40:17.969-04:001 Kings 17: Elijah saves a child<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Elijah is a Tishbit in Gilead. He predicts there will be no dew or rain these years. The Lord tells Elijah to go east and hide by the brook Cherith near Jordan. Drink from the brook for I have commanded the ravens to feed you there. Once the brook dries up for lack of rain the Lord tells him to go to Zarepahath. He asks a woman there for food and she says, I have only enough for me and my son. He tells her bring it anyway and he was able to feed the woman, and her son and Elijah for many days. At some point the son falls ill and stops breathing. Elijah stretches himself on top of the child three times and prays to God to revive the child. The child is revived. The woman says, now I know you are a man of God.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Elijah saves a child and becomes a prophet.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 17:4, 6 And it shall be, that thou shalt drink of the brook; and I have commanded the ravens to feed thee there. And the ravens brought him bread and flesh in the morning, and bread and flesh in the evening; and he drank of the brook.<br />
<br />
<h4>
Weirdest bit:</h4>
1 Kings 17:21 And he stretched himself upon the child three times, and cried unto the Lord and said, O Lord my God, I pray thee, let this child’s soul come into him again. (Not sure why he had to lie on top of the unbreathing child 3 times, but it seems to have worked. Maybe it was like CPR).<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Be nice to ravens (1 Kings 17)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-72165715112481646232015-04-16T01:00:00.000-04:002015-04-16T13:45:50.542-04:001 Kings 18: Elijah slaughters the prophets of Baal (metaphorically and literally)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
After 3 years of drought, Elijah comes back to Israel to speak to King Ahab and bring back the rain. Ahab asks Elijah why he has troubled the land with drought. Elijah says, I didn’t, you did by forsaking God and following Baalim. Elijah then proposes a contest of gods. Let’s go to mount Carmel. Bring 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of the groves which eat at Jezebel’s table. Slaughter 2 bulls. They choose the bulls. We will put it on wood but light no fire. They called on Baal from morning until noon to light the fire. The fire remained unlit. Elijah mocked them. At evening, Elijah built an altar using 12 stones for the 12 tribes of Israel. He poured water over the wood and bully 3 times. Then he prayed and the fire of the Lord consumed the sacrifice and evaporated all the water. The prophets of Baal, upon Elijah’s orders were all killed. A big storm came and Ahab took his chariot to Jezreel, but Elijah beat him there.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
God beats Baal in a BBQ contest.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 18:27-29 – And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and sai, Cry aloud: for he is a god,; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked. And they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancets, still the blood gushed out upon them. And it came to pass, when midday was past, and they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, and there was neither voice, nor any to answer, nor any that regards. (Sure, it’s all good for Elijah to say this, but when atheists say these same exact things we are blaspheming. From now on I think anybody trying to make a point to Christians about the inefficacy of prayer – only needs to cite 1 Kings 18:27 –if your god doesn’t answer – you don’t speak for him.)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Side note:</h4>
1 Kings 18:4 – When Jezebel cut off the prophets of the Lord, Obadiah (house manager for Ahab), took 100 prophets and hid them in a cave and fed them with bread and water.<br />
<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Coolest bit:</h4>
This is a REALLY cool test of god strength. And how could you doubt a god who create a fire that consumed a water soaked altar?<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<br />Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Don’t promise things you can’t deliver. (1 Kings 18)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-90583047238253262482015-04-08T06:00:00.000-04:002015-04-08T06:00:05.536-04:001 Kings 15: They keep fighting<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
(Note – this story is not told sequentially – but I have arranged it sequentially here).<br />
18 years into the reign of King Jeroboam over Israel, Abijam takes over Judah from Rehoboam. Abijam rules for 3 years before dying. He was sinful just like his father. But after Abijam came King Asa of Judah (20th year of the reign of Jeroboam). Asa was godly like David. He removed the sodomites and the idols and even removed his mother as queen because she had built an idol. He, however, allowed the high places to remain. He also purchased gold and silver and started to restore the treasure of Judah. In Asa’s second year, Nadab, son of Jeroboam becomes king of Israel. But by the next year Baasha son of Ahijah, house of Issachar, conspired against Nadab and took over as king of Israel. King Baasha killed all members of the house off Jeroboam. He was sinful, just like Jeroboam. He then made war against Asa and built Ramah. Asa appealed to the king of Syria, Ben-hadad, for help. Asa gave Ben-hadad a lot of gold and silver and jewels and so Syria waged war against Israel. Asa and Baasha warred for their entire reigns. Asa died after 41 years and his son Jehoshaphat reigned in his stead.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Jeroboams and Rehoboam’s sons continue fighting.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 15:10 – Asa’s mother’s name is Maachah, daughter of Abishalom. A woman is mentioned!!!<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
2nd favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 15:3-5 – And he walked in all the sins of his father, which he had done before him: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as the heard of David his father. Nevertheless for David’s sake did the Lord his God give him a lamp in Jerusalem to set up his son after him, and to establish Jerusalem. Because David did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord, and turned not aside from anything that he commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite. <br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Confused commentary about 1: Kings 15:3-5</h4>
First: I love the fact that they remember the Uriah incident as a blemish on David. But ... clearly God was not happy with Solomon and set up Jeroboam against Solomon’s son Rehoboam. And then, he’s like – oh – I didn’t realize you were going to sin Jeroboam, so – I guess I’ll go back and favor the David’s sons in Judah. It seems to me that Israel being bigger than Judah should be the favored group. But what do I know.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
3rd favorite bit:</h4>
That Syria was bribed to fight Israel on behalf of Asa in Judah and the bribe worked (1 Kings 15:17-20)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Coolest bit:</h4>
1 Kings 15:23 – Asa in the time of his old age was diseased in his feet.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
That this chapter is out of order. We aren’t told who Baasha is until verse 27 and Baasha doesn’t take over until verse 33. Yet his battle with Asa starts on verse 17. King Asa dies and is buried with his fathers in verse 24. It’s all out of sequence. It’s kind of annoying.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
We all need allies (1 Kings 15)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-29370345870383265922015-04-08T05:59:00.000-04:002015-04-08T05:59:00.741-04:001 Kings 16: The Evil Kings of Israel<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
The Lord doesn’t like Baasha because he sins, so he has Jehu, a prophet and son of Hanani curse Baasha. After 23 years, Baasha dies and his son Elah takes over. But Zimri, captain of the chariots, killed Elah when he was drunk. He killed everyone in the house. When the rest of Israel finds out that Zimri has killed their king, they rise up against Zimri and Zimri immolates himself by setting the king’s palace at Tirzah on fire around him. At this point, the people of Israel split. Half side with Omri who led the charge against the traitor Zimri and the other half make Tibni king. Tibni dies and Omri becomes king. He reigns in TIrzah for a while but builds a house in Samaria. Omri was just as bad as Baasha and his son Elah and God is still angry with them. Eventually Omri dies and his son Ahab takes over. Ahab is worse than all the kings of Israel before him. In fact, he’s so bad he and his wife Jezebel start worshipping Baal and build an altar for Baal in Samaria. Ahab did more to to provoke the anger of the God of Israel than all the kings before him. Oh – and Hiel a Beth-elite built Jericho.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Timeline of Israeli Kings: </h4>
Note – these dates are all based on the reign of king Asa of Judah.<br />
Year 2: Ahijab of Israel reigns after Jeroboam<br />
Year 3: Baasha takes over in a bloody coup<br />
Year 26: Elah, son of Baasha takes over Israel<br />
Year 27 – Zimri (traitor) kills Elah and takes over<br />
Year 27 – Omri kills Zimri and Israel is split between Omri and Tibni<br />
Year 31 – Omri prevails and reigns over Israel<br />
Year 38 – Ahab, son of Omri reigns over Israel<br />
Year 41 – Asa of Judah dies.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
We finally meet Jezebel! (1 Kings 16:31) – She is the wife of Jehu.<br />
<br />
<h4>
Funniest part:</h4>
The recurrent fact that whatever king just took over “wrought evil in the eyes of the Lod, and did worse than all that were before him.”<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Most exciting bit:</h4>
1 Kings 16:8-20 – The tale of Zimri – captain of the chariots and his act of treason against Elah. His reign only lasted 7 days and he dies in a fire in the palace. <br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite quote: </h4>
“And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends.” (1 Kings 16:11)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
The curse of Jehu, the prophet speaking on behalf of God:</h4>
1 Kings 16:2-4 - Forasmuch as I exalted thee out of the dust, and made thee prince over my people of Israel; and thou hast walked in the way of Jeroboam, and hast made my people Israel to sin, to provoke me to anger with their sins; Behold, I will take away the posterity of Baasha, and the prosperity of his house; and will make thy house like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat. Him that dieth of Baasha in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that dieth of his in the fields shall the fowls of the air eat.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Make sure you have support before you stage a coup. (1 Kings 16)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-33367911125198072732015-04-01T06:00:00.000-04:002015-04-01T06:00:04.400-04:001 Kings 13: God uses a lion to kill a good man<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Because the altars with the golden calves were sins against God, God sent a prophet (a man of God) from Judah to remind King Jeroboam of this fact. Jeroboam heard the prophet but ignored him and went to touch the altar. His hand dried up. Jeroboam entreated the prophet to pray to God to restore his hand, and it was as before. The king asked this prophet to come home and have food with him, but the prophet said no, God had told him not to eat or drink anything in this place. An old prophet in Beth-el heard of what had happened and had his ass saddled and went to find the young prophet (man of God) and invited him home to eat. The man of God said no, but the old prophet lied and said, I am a prophet too and an angel told me to come get you and offer you food. So the man of God agreed, but after he had eaten bread and had drunk, he left to go home and was killed by a lion. Word got back to the old prophet who realized that God had killed him for not obeying his injunction not to eat while away from Judah. went to collect the carcass and buried it. The old prophet asked his sons to bury him with the man of God when he dies. None of this impacted king Jeroboam who went back to his evil ways right away.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
God sends a prophet to warn Jeroboam that he is committing sins and then has a lion kill his prophet because the dude ate some bread.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 13: 33,34 – After this thing Jeroboam returned not from his evil way, but made again of the lowest of the people priests of the high places. If having your hand shriveled and restored doesn’t convince you, nothing will.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
That God doesn’t kill Jeroboam for disobeying him, but kills his prophet for eating bread when he wasn’t supposed to! (1 Kings 13:23,24)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Most annoying bit:</h4>
1 Kings 13:18 – The old prophet tells the man of God an angel told him to bring you back and the man of God believes him. Certainly God could have spoke up and said – hey – don’t do that! But no – I’m going to let you disobey me and not tell you this guy is lying and then kill you for disobeying me over some bread. This is one of those – God is being a real petty jerk moments.<br />
<br />
<h4>
Most amusing bit:</h4>
1 Kings 13:13 – “And he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass.” Funny how priests never write sermons about this little gem of scripture.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Be careful around lions (1 Kings 13)<br />
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-59171772173003508322015-04-01T05:59:00.000-04:002015-04-01T05:59:00.064-04:001 Kings 14: Egypt invades <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Jeroboam’s son falls sick so he sends his wife to see the prophet Ahijah, who tells her – the boy is going to die because of the sins of the father making molten images. And Jeroboam is cursed. Sure enough, the kid dies and Jeroboam’s reign is filled with war. He reigns 22 years and then his son Nadab takes over. Meanwhile in Judah, reigns for 17 years and in that time, they also provoked the Lord to jealous with other gods and sodomites. In the fifth year of Rehoboam’s reign, King Shishak of Egypt invades and takes all the treasures of the house of the Lord away, including the shields of god which Solomon had made. So Rehobaum replaced them with brass shields and put guards over the temple. Throughout their reigns, Rehoboam and Jeroboam warred with each other. Rehoboam was succeeded by his son Abijam.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
While the kings of Judah and Israel are fighting, king of Egypt comes and steals all their stuff.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
The curse of Jeroboam (1 Kings 14:10,11) Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone. Him that dieth of Jeroboam in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that dieth in the field shall the fowls of the air eat: for the Lord hath spoken it.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
2nd favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 14:17-19 – God is really upset that he exalted Jeroboam and made him king and how does Jeroboam repay him? By making golden images. You are nothing like David!<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
3rd favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 14: 22-24 – And Judah did evil in the sight of the Lord, and they provoked him to jealousy. (The other king isn’t any better – God sure is a bad judge of character).<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Funniest bit:</h4>
1 Kings 14:25,26 – While Rehoboam and Jeroboam are fighting the king of Egypt comes and steals all their stuff<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Most annoying bit:</h4>
1 Kings 14:19 and 1 Kings 14:29 – the rest of the acts of these kings were written in the chronicles. So – you are already supposed to know what all happened, it’s not going to be repeated here. I realize this is a transcription if a verbal story, but still – I kind of want to know what all they did.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Find out what people are really like before you hire them (1 Kings 14) </li>
<li>Never forget who your real enemy is (1 Kings 14)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<br /></div>
JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-45760075859812466632015-03-25T06:00:00.000-04:002015-03-25T06:00:11.257-04:001 Kings 11: King Solomon goes a whoring<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Synopsis:</h4>
Solomon loved many “strange” women. In fact He had 700 wives, and 300 concubines from all over the place. When he got old, he started worshipping other gods, like Ashtoreth (a god of the Zidonians) and Milcom (a god of the Ammonites). He even built in Jerusalem a ‘high place’ for Chemosh ( a god of the Moabites) and Molech (a god of the children of Ammon). God was obviously pretty angry with Solomon, but, out of respect for David, decides not to harm Solomon or his kingdom, but he will only give 1 tribe to Solomon’s son and the rest will go to someone else. God stirred up several people against Solomon including Hadad the Edomite, Rezon who ended up ruling over Syria, and Jeroboam who was the son of one of Solomon’s servants. A prophet found Jeroboam and tore his clothese into 12 pieces and gave Jeroboam 10 pieces, to show that he would get 10 of the tribes of Israel per God’s will. Solomon wanted to kill Jeroboam but Jeroboam fled to Egypt and stayed there with the king Shishak of Egypt until Solomon died. Solomon reigned 40 years and was buried in the city of David, and Rehoboam, his sun reigned in his stead.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
In other words:</h4>
Solomon has a huge appetite for women AND other gods, which makes God unhappy.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Favorite bit:</h4>
Even though Solomon had met God in person twice, he STILL went whoring after other gods. And not just a few gods, A LOT of them. (1 Kings 11:5-10)<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Least favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 11:1-4 A list of all the “strange” women that Solomon web in addition to Pharoah’s daughter. From this we are supposed to learn that – unless you marry within your faith – you are going to be led astray – because it’s always the women.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
It’s almost like god doesn’t exist bit:</h4>
1 Kings 11:11-13 Go tells Solomon because you’ve not kept my covenant, I’m going to rend your kingdom from you – but not until you die. Funny how people who do bad things never seem to get punished, but their kids do.<br />
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What I think the main moral lesson is:</h4>
1 Kings 11:40 – Jeroboam flees to Egypt and Solomon dies, so – he wins by not fighting?<br />
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Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Sometimes you win by not fighting. (1 Kings 11)<br />
There is no real punishment for not obeying God’s covenants. (1 Kings 11)<br />
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JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5272418477092125697.post-42547425470842771572015-03-25T05:59:00.000-04:002015-03-25T05:59:00.070-04:001 Kings 12: Rehoboam loses his kingdom to Jeroboam<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Synopsis:</h4>
After Solomon’s death all the congregation of Israel goes to Rehoboam and tells him – your father taxed us too heavily, please make our burden lighter. So Rehoboam asks the elders that counselled Solomon, his father. They tell him, agree to lighten their yoke and they will be your servants forever. He then asks his childhood buddies what to do and they said, tax them even more for complaining. So Rehoboam tells everyone he is going to be even worse and tax them even more. When Rehoboam sends out his tax collector Adoram to collect tribute, he is stoned. Rehoboam flees to Jerusalem. When the rest of Israel hears Jeroboam is back from Egypt, they made him King. Rehoboam was king only over Judah. So Rehoboam assembles an army of 180,000 men, but one of Rehoboam’s priests speaks for God and tells everyone not to take up arms against their brothers. So Rehoboam’s army departs and goes home. Jeroboam builds Shechem in mount Ephraim. But he is worried that if people go to Jeruselum to make sacrifices, they will eventually turn against him, so he has two calves of gold made and he puts one up in Beth-el and the other in Dan. He also made priests of the lowest of people and did not use the sons of Levi. All of this was a sin against God.<br />
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In other words:</h4>
The son of Solomon gets greedy and loses the kingdom.<br />
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Favorite bit:</h4>
1 Kings 12:18 – where they stone the tax collector. Clearly Rehoboam made a tactical error thinking he could be a greedy jerk and rule over the people.<br />
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Craziest bit:</h4>
1 Kings 12:28-31 Jeroboam, because he doesn’t want people to worship in Jeruselum, because that’s where Rehoboam is, he sets up, literally, golden calves for the people to worship, even though a golden calf was the reason why Moses and the Levites went on a murderous rampage back in Exodus.<br />
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Moral Lesson Learned:</h4>
Without the consent of the governed, you cannot govern (1 Kings 12)<br />
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JentheHumanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01908285918010182097noreply@blogger.com0