Genesis 12: You can't trust an Egyptian with a pretty lady


Synopsis:

Abram, Lot and their families are told by God to leave and go to a place where God will show them. This land is Canaan. So they get all their stuff together and leave their father and go to Canaan.  The problem is that the Canaanites are there, so Abram builds an altar and God appears and says, don’t worry, I will give this land to your offspring.  Abram continues on his journey south, but there is a famine there, so they decide to go to Egypt. The problem is that Abram’s wife is really pretty and he doesn’t want to be killed because another man wants her, so he tells his wife to tell people he is her brother so he won’t be killed. The Pharaoh does indeed fall for her and takes her into his house. Pharaoh is nice to Abram on account of the wife. The problem is that God isn’t happy and plagues the Pharaoh. Pharaoh finds out it is because the wife was Abram's and he wants to know why they lied, and he then sends them out of Egypt.

In other words:

God sends Abram and his family to Canaan to live, but they can’t live there, so God promises to give it to his sons someday, but for now, to escape a famine, they go to Egypt, where Abram’s wife is taken as a consort of the pharaoh with Abram’s permission. This upsets God who plagues Pharaoh until he sends Abram, his wife and their family out of Egypt.

I can’t help but think:

That all this stuff about talking to God is a hallucination because it would explain why they keep being promised stuff that God doesn’t deliver on. If it is a hallucination, this would make some sense. (Genesis 12: 7)

Favorite bit:

Genesis 12: 17 The lord plagues Pharaoh for taking a pretty woman as his wife, even though that is Abram’s fault.

Biggest unanswered question:

Where did Egypt come from? We were told in a  previous chapter that all of humanity had been wiped out and given lineages of every country on the earth from Noah. But Egypt wasn’t included. Where did Egypt come from then? Hmmmm? (Ancient Aliens maybe?)

Moral Lessons:

  • Just because someone says something is ok, doesn’t mean it really is. (Genesis 12: 17)
  • Make sure the woman you are taking as a wife isn’t married already. (Genesis 12: 19)