Numbers 1: Get Out Your Abacus

Synopsis:

God commands Moses to count all the men 20 years and older so they can prepare for war. They are to be counted by tribe.

Reuben - 46,500
Simeon – 59,300
Gad – 45,650
Judah – 74,600 (3 score 14 thousand and 600)
Issachar – 54,400
Zebulun 57,400
Joseph (Ephraim) – 40,500
Manasseh – 32,200
Benjamin – 35,400
Dan – 62,700 (3 score 2,00 and 700)
Asher – 41,500
Naphthali – 53,400

Total – 603,550

 The Levites were not includes in this number. The reason is because the Levites are in charge of the temple, they aren’t part of the army getting ready for war.

In other words:

One year after they left Egypt with 6,000 people – they counted up the men they have who can fight and they now have 603,500 men of fighting age – not including the women and children living in an encampment in the desert.

Why I think these numbers are wrong:

First, the largest city in Egypt at this time probably had 40,000 to 60,000 people in it (Memphis or Thebes). So having an encampment 10 times the size of a huge city isn’t likely.

Second: 603,500 is a city the size of Denver CO. It’s a huge number. And this is only the fighting age men. In reality – to support them and to include the women – you probably had double that so close to 1.2 million people – which is a city the size of Dallas Texas – living in an encampment in the desert.

Third: Even with a really robust sexual propagation program and including the slaves these people probably took with them, it’s unlikely you could get a 100 fold increase of people in 1 year.

What now makes sense about Leviticus

Even if the number of people in the encampment was a fraction of this number, it does explain why they had so many rules about cleanliness. The logistics of keeping feces out of your drinking water and taking away waste and getting clean water and preventing the spread of disease in an encampment of this size would have been enormous.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Always double check your numbers (Numbers 1)

Numbers 2: Pitch Your Tent

Synopsis:

God tells Moses and Aaron where everyone should pitch their tents in relationship to the Tabernacle.  For the record here is how the encampment was laid out:

East of the Tabernacle: (186,400 men – 1st rank)
Judah (Nashon is captain)
Issachar (Nethaneel is captain)
Zebulum (Eliab is captain)

South of the Tabernacle: (151,450 men – 2nd rank)
Reuben (Elizur is captain)
Simeon (Shelumiel is captain)
Gad (Eliasaph is captain)

The Levites are to camp around the Tabernacle and take care of it – so they are in the center

West of the Tabernacle: (108,100 men – 3rd rank)
Ephraim (Elishama is captain)
Manesseh (Gamliel is captain)
Benjamin (Abidan is captain)

North of the Tabernacle: (157,600 men – 4th rank)
Dan (Ahiezer is captain)
Asher (Pagiel is captain)
Naphtali (Ahira is captain)

In other words:

The armies are organized and people are given their sleeping assignments.

Favorite bit:

That the numbers add up correctly.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Stay organized. Everything has it’s place.(Numbers 2)

Numbers 3: The Levites get their assignments

Synopsis:

The Levites belong to God so he wants every male child over 1 month counted. Here are their numbers, assignments regarding care of the Tabernacle and where they are to sleep. There are 22,000 males over 1 month old, except that there are more like 22,273 males, except that the numbers counted add up to 22,300.

Gershon Family: 7,500
Sleep west of the Tabernacle.
Chief is Eliasaph.
Responsible for Tent and door hangings and cords

Kohath Family: 8,600
Sleep south of the Tabernacle
Chief is Elisaphan
Responsible for care of Ark, table, candlesticks, altars and vessels.

Merari Family: 6,200
Sleep north of the Tabernacle
Chief is Zuriel
Responsible for boards, pillars and sockets

Moses and Aaron:
Sleep east of the Tabernacle
Responsible for the Sanctuary – kill any stranger that comes nigh


The last bit of this chapter is confusing because the odd number over 22,000  (273) is given 5 shekels each  1,365  and this money is given to Aaron and his sons.

In other words:

The Levites are given their assignments.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Double check your math (Numbers 3)

Numbers 4: Levite workers are counted:

Synopsis:

Only the men between the ages of 30 and 50 are allowed to do the work servicing the temple and it has to be done in a very specific way lest they accidentally touch the holy things and die.  Here are the numbers of workers from each family.

Kohath  - 2,750
Gershon  - 2,630
Merari – 3,200

Total – 8,580

In other words:

Only Levites 30 to 50 can work on the Tabernacle.

Favorite bit:

Numbers 4:15 – The sons of Kohath shall come to bear it: but they shall not touch any holy thing, lest they die. None of the other Levites are threatened this way. This must be because they have to bear the altar and all the gold stuff which is actually worth something. Aaron is to oversee everyone’s work and make sure everything is ready to be transported before the Kohath’s come in because if they see the holy things, they will die. Pretty sure – they don’t want their pretty things to get stolen.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Make sure everyone knows what they are supposed to be doing (Numbers 4:19)

Numbers 10: Marching Along

Synopsis:

2 silver trumpets were made to be able to signal to the armies of Israel. Then on the 20th day of the 2nd month of the 2nd year out of Egypt, the cloud lifted and the children of Israel could begin their journey from Sinai to Paran. We are then given the order of the march: Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Gershon and Merari (with the Tabernacle), Reuben, Simeon, Gad, Kohathites (bearing the sanctuary and ark), Ephraim, Manasseh, Benjamin, Dan, Asher and Napthali. Moses asks his brother in law Hobab to join them on the journey. Hobab says no, we’re going home. Moses pleads, not sure whether Hobab joined them or not.

In other words:

They move their camp from Sinai to Paran.

Favorite bit:

Numbers 10: 29-32 – where Moses tries to convince his brother-in-law to join them.  As I read this, I thought that Hobab was smart to say no. Conditiongs could not have been good.

Least favorite bit:

Numbers 10:35,36 – Moses tells God, when they are moving camp – Rise up Lord, and let thine enemies be scattered: and let them that hate thee flee before thee.  Even though I like the alliteration, I dislike the idea that they wanted God to kill people.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Stay away from cults (Numbers 10:29)

Numbers 11: Fire and Food Poisoning.

Synopsis:

The people complain and God gets angry and starts a fire that kills a bunch of people. That place is called Taberah. Others complain that they are hungry and are tired of eating manna (which is the size of a coriander seed) and they complain, once again, that they were better off in Egypt where they had fish, and juicy cucumbers and melons and leeks and onions and garlic. Moses and God are angry and Moses complains to God – why did you put me in charge of these people. It would have been better if you just killed me! God says, bring me 70 people to talk to. Tell everyone to sanctify themselves and I will give them so much meat they will be sick of it. They will have meat for a month.  So, the 70 elders are called and they start prophesizing. However, 2 men in the camp also start prophesizing and Joshua (who is Moses’ servant) tells him to stop them. Moses responds by wishing everyone could talk to God directly. At which point God provides a bunch of quails which fall dead out of the sky into the camp. But when people start to eat them God gets mad and gives them deadly food poisoning. This place was called Kibrothhat taavah because that is where they buried the people with food poisoning. The rest of the congregation travels on to Hazeroth.

In other words:

There is a fire in the camp. A bunch of people die. Others complain of having to eat Manna. Moses complains that he hates being in charge of all these complainers. God provides quails to eat but then gives everyone food poisoning and a bunch of people die. Moving on. The congregation moves on.

Favorite bit: 

Numbers 11:15 – Where Moses complains that the burden is too much and he would rather die than bear it.

Next favorite bit:

Numbers 11: 5 This is the start of the complaint against eating manna. It’s nice because it’s so detailed.

What’s obvious?

That this large of a group is not safe. There are very real health and safety issues and people were dying, in large numbers.

Moral Lesson:

• Don’t eat road kill, it will give you food poisoning (Numbers 11:33)
• Fire safety important (Numbers 11:1)

Numbers 17: A Blossom Fell

Synopsis:

To quell the murmurings and rebellions, Moses asks every tribe to provide a rod with the name of one prince. Moses ads a rod for Aaron. They leave it in the tabernacle overnight. The one that blossoms is God’s chosen. Lo and behold, the only one that has blossomed is Aarons. His rod is to be kept as a testament against the rebels. Everyone else complains that they have been condemned to die, which they basically have.

In other words:

To quell the uprising, Moses makes a rod blossom.

Favorite bit:

That this test is so easy to fake. Moses chooses the rods to be used. All he had to do was choose to give a rod to Aaron that would blossom and ones that wouldn’t to everyone else.

Least favorite bit:

That this doesn’t really stop the complaining. (Numbers 17:12,13)

Moral Lesson Learned:

It’s important to know when to fold your hand. (Numbers 17)

Leviticus 2: Rules for Offering Bread

Synopsis: 

If you offer flour – you must also offer oil and frankincense.  A portion of this will be burned by the priests.  Any baked bread must be unleavened and made with fine flour and oil. Same rule applies if the bread is baked in a pan or in an oven. All bread offerings must include salt. A portion of bread will be burnt, the rest is the property of the priests. Raw grains can be offered as long as they are dried. This is treated the same way as an offering of flour and you must include oil and frankincense.

In other words: 

You may offer bread as an offering, but it must be unleavened and include salt.

Favorite bit:

That “meat” offerings are actually offerings of flour goods.

Most interesting bit:

That you aren’t allowed to burn leavened bread or bread made with honey.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Don’t forget to put salt in your bread. (Leviticus 2)

Leviticus 3: Peace Offerings

Synopsis:

A peace offering can be cow, sheep or goat. Same rules for slaughter and cooking except you are not allowed to cook the kidneys and the fat upon the kidneys. Those have to be taken away. Also, you are not allowed to eat blood or fat ever.

In other words:

If you want to make a peace offering, don’t cook the kidneys.

Favorite bit:

That the kidneys and the fat on the kidneys are to be taken away. No idea why, just, if it’s a peace offering, don’t cook those.

Most interesting bit:

That at the end, a blanket prohibition on eating fat and blood is given. This doesn’t appear to be related to the sacrifices, it’s literally “a perpetual statue for your generations that ye eat neither fat nor blood.” (Leviticus 3:17)

Moral Lesson Learned:

Don’t drink blood. (Leviticus 3)
And
Don’t eat animal fat (Leviticus 3) – though I don’t agree with that.

Leviticus 4: What happens if you violate any of the commandments

Synopsis:

If a priest violates a commandment, bring a bullock to be slaughtered. The priest will take the blood, dip his fingers in it, put some on the horns of the altar and then take the fat and burn it on the altar. The rest of the cow will be taken out of town and burned. If the entire congregation sins, then all the heads of the tribes have to put their hands on the bullock before the ritual is done and then the entire congregation will be forgiven. If a ruler sins and violates the commandments He needs to bring the kid of a goat, and then the blood ritual is done and the fat burned. Not sure what happens to the rest of the goat. If a commoner sins and violates the commandment they need to bring a female got, and then the blood is offered and fat burned. If he brings a lamb instead of a goat, this is ok, the sacrifice will be done and the person forgiven.

In other words:

If you violate the 10 commandments, that’s ok, as long as you did it out of ignorance. Just make a sin offering and all will be forgiven.

Most interesting bit:

That it was assumed the priests, as well as everyone else, would sin and that there is a method to atone, fairly easily for those sins.

Favorite bit:

Leviticus 4:11 “And the kin of the bullock, and all his flesh, with his head, and with his legs, and his inwards and his dung.”  Not sure if this is for burning or part of the bull being taken out to be burnt out of town.

Moral Lessons Learned:

If you make a mistake, fix it. (Leviticus 4)

Leviticus 8: The blood sacrifice begins

Synopsis:

After all the talking and discussing and laying of rules, the blood sacrifice begins. Aaron is clothed, anointed with oil and a bull is killed, blood sprinkled and the bull cooked. A ram is killed, blood sprinkled and the ram cooked. Another ram is killed, this blood is poured on Aaron and his sons. They are then told to boil this ram and eat it and then stay within the tabernacle for seven days until they are “officially” consecrated.

In other words:

The first sacrifice is finally made. It doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it was described, but perhaps that’s just the redundancy.

Favorite bit:

That we probably don’t have to hear about this first sacrifice in such detail ever again.

Moral Lesson Learned:

If you have to do something unpleasant – just get it over with. (Leviticus 8)

Leviticus 9: Burning fat causes a fire

Synopsis:

On the 8th day, after the initial consecration, Aaron emerges and they start the other sacrifices, peace, sin, etc. All is going as it should, but apparently they put too much fat upon the altar that they weren’t supposed to and a huge fire erupts out of the altar.

In other words:

Burning fat for a sacrifice inside a tent causes a fire.

Favorite bit:

Leviticus 9:24 – “And there came a fire out from before the Lord, and consumed upon the altar the burnt offering and the fat which when all the people saw, they shouted and fell on their faces.” It must have been some fire that erupted.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Be careful when grilling, always have a fire extinguisher ready in case of fire. (Leviticus9:24)

Exodus 16: Manna from Heaven

Synopsis:

They have been wandering about in the desert for 2 1/2 months and get cranky. We should have remained in Egypt rather then die out here in the desert! God gives them manna from heaven. It is small and round and white, a bit like a coriander seed only white and it tasted of wafers made with honey. The big problem was that if you didn't eat it right away, it got wormy. Except on the Sabbath. Then you could get enough for two days and it would stay good. Because God doesn't do manna deliveries on the Sabbath.

In other words:

They get hungry enough to eat little specks of food they find littering the desert floor.

Most interesting bit:

The unit of measure is an omer - which, according to wikipedia, is equivalent to about 3.64 dry liters of the stuff. Which is apparently what every individual ate every day. Which means, these poor folk were literally picking up a huge amount of tiny seeds every day to sustain themselves. That would have been really annoying back breaking work. They lived this way for 40 years.

Favorite bit:

This is a tie between Exodus 16:3 and Exodus 16:28. I like both because they are so whiny.

·         Exodus 16:3 "Would to God we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots, and when we did eat bread to the full: for ye have brought us forth into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger."

·         Exodus 16:28 "And the Lord said unto Moses, How long refuse ye to keep my commandments and my laws?"

Funniest bit:

That this all occurs in the land of Sin. (Exodus 16:1)

Moral Lesson:

Beggars can't be choosers. (Exodus 16)

Exodus 17: The Promise of Endless War

Synopsis:

They leave the land of Sin and head to Rephidim. They don't have water there either and complain. God has Moses smite a rock with his staff and a spring issues forth. This is called Masah. Then, the Amalek's come and start a war. Joshua is chosen to lead the army. Moses and Aaron and Hur go to a hill and keep Moses's arms up with his staff aloof so that the Israelites will win. The battle wages all day. Finally Israel wins. They build an altar and call the place Jehovahnissi. God promises that he will have war with Amalek from generation to generation.

In other words:

They find a spring and settle down near it but then have to fight with another group over water rights.

Favorite bit:

Exodus 17:12  “But Moses’ hand were heave; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.”  Because, you see, it takes a lot of work to keep your staff above your head, but everytime he let it down, the Israelites started to do badly against the Amalek’s so it was critical that he keep the staff in the air. I love the detail of exactly how they managed that for an entire day.

Most annoying bit:

Exodus 17:16 – The Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation.  Not the best of all promises if you ask me. Who on earth would hear about endless war and think – yeah – that’s for me.

Moral Lesson:

Access to clean water is important. (Exodus 17)

Exodus 19: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

Synopsis:

The Israelites come to Mount Sinai. Moses goes up the mountain to speak to God. God offers a covenant. If you obey me, you shall be my kingdom. Moses goes back down the hill and asks the people if they agree. They do. So Moses goes back up to tell God the good news.  He tells Moses to go back down and get the people ready because He plans to appear to them in a cloud so that they will experience God themselves and believe Moses forever when he says he has spoken to God. The Israelites need to clean up first. Oh – and they need to make sure that no one comes up the mountain to actually see God because he will kill them immediately if they do. The only people allowed up are Moses and Aaron.  So, Moses returns and tells the people to get ready. On the appointed day the mountain trembles and there is smoke and fire. Moses spoke to God and God replaced by a voice.  God calls Moses back up the mountain and tells him once again to make sure no one comes near him. So Moses went back down to remind people to stay where they are and keep their distance.

In other words

Moses becomes a messenger boy for God and is made to go up and down mount Sinai several times.

What I think really happened:

The people doubt the existence of God so Moses and Aaron plan a show to make people think they hear God speaking, but it is literally a smoke, fire and mirror’s trick. That is why so much attention is paid to keep people from actually getting close enough to see God.

My favorite bit:

That Moses had to go up and down the mountain several times.  Seems like God could have been more efficient in his communication.

Moral Lesson:

Exercise is good for you (Exodus 19)

Exodus 20: The 13 Commandments

Synopsis:

God tells Moses his commandments.

1.  Have no other gods before me.
2. Don’t make any graven images of anything in heaven, in the earth, in the water or under the earth
3. Don’t take God’s name in vain
4. Keep the Sabbath, it is holy
5. Honor your father and mother
6. Don’t kill
7. Don’t commit adultery
8. Don’t steal
9. Don’t lie or bear false witness
10. Don’t covet your neighbor’s things
11. Don’t make any gods of silver or god
12. Make an altar of stones for burnt offerings.
13. Don’t get naked on my altar. 

In other words:

God issues a list of commandments that make up the covenant.

My favorite bit:

Exodus 20:26 “Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.” Can’t help thinking that this may be a prohibition against having sex on the altar.  Which, let’s face it, people probably did.

Funniest bit:

That even though the commandment against making god’s out of gold and silver is pretty darned clear, people do that anyway. (Exodus 20:23)

Other funny bit:

That there appear to be 13 separate commandments.

Moral Lesson:

Don’t have sex on altars. (Exodus 20:26)

Don’t lie, cheat or steal and make sure to take a break every now and again (Exodus 20)

Exodus 21: Slaves, Murders and Oxen

Synopsis:

This chapter is a series of rules for judging conflicts between people regard slave ownerships (rights of owner and of slave), punishments and lenience for murder, manslaughter and bodily injury, and what to do if an ox is involved with either a murder, manslaughter or bodily injury.

In other words:

The rules governing slave ownership, bodily injury and/or murder and trouble with oxen are laid out.

Most interesting rules regarding slaves:

That slaves can choose to remain slaves if they want. Terms of slavery are set at 6 years, except for women who are slaves forever. Unless of course, her master fails to provide food, water and clothing for her. In which case, she is free to go. If you take out an eye of a slave or a tooth, the slave can go free. Other bodily injury is handled under the rules below.

Most interesting rules regarding murder, injury and manslaughter:

The punishment for murder is death. However, if you kill a slave and it is yours, you will be punished (but not by death), unless the slave is only injured, in which case, that’s ok. If you hurt a pregnant woman and cause a miscarriage, you have to pay her husband for his loss. If you don’t abide by the judge’s rulings and take revenge on your own, you will be considered guilty and will lose an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

Most interesting Oxen rules:

If your ox kills a person and you had trouble with the ox before, not only will the ox be stoned, so will you. So make sure you keep your trouble animals locked up.  If you make a pit and someone’s ox falls in, pay them for the ox and the body of the ox is now yours.  If two ox fight and one wins, the owners of both ox kill the remaining ox and split up the meat.

Confusing bit:

Killing a slave is not ok. Injuring them is ok, unless you take out an eye or a tooth, in which case, the slave can now go free. What I don’t understand is why losing an eye or a tooth is worse than any other injury. (Exodus 21: 26,27)

Moral Lesson:

Trust in the rule of law. Don’t seek revenge on your own. (Exodus 21: 23,24)

Be fair when trying to resolve conflicts. (Exodus 21)

Exodus 22: Rules for trespasses and dealing with people fairly

Synopsis:

This chapter contains rules for stealing or causing harm to the property of another person, either by accident or on purpose. It also includes rules for witches, bestiality, dealing with strangers, loans, and what is owed to God.

In other words:

We are provided clarification on what exactly is meant by “thou shall not steal” and also given a few more rules besides.

Stealing rules in a nutshell:

If you steal and are caught, you have to pay back 5 times what you stole. If you can’t pay, you will be sold into slavery to pay for restitution. If you do any harm to anyone else’s property, you will have to pay restitution, unless you can prove it was an accident or that someone else did it.

Other rules:

1. Witchcraft is punished by death
2. Bestiality is punished by death
3. Sacrificing to a god other than this God  is something God will take care of
4. Be nice to strangers (or God will kill you)
5. Be nice to widows and orphans (or God will kill you)
6. Don’t eat road kill (any animal not slaughtered by you)

God specific rules

There are also a few rules on what belongs to God and offerings.

Favorite rule:

Don’t eat roadkill (Exodus 22:31)

Moral Lesson:

Stealing is wrong (Exodus 22: 1-4)

Be nice to strangers, widows, orphans and the poor (Exodus 22: 21,  22, 25)

Exodus 23: Rules about lying, harvesting, crop rotation, feasting

Synopsis:

Rules are laid out for lying, harvesting crops, including a bit on the importance of crop rotation and what feasts to hold and when. The last bit of this chapter is about how God will eventually, little by little give land to the Israelites.

 In other words:

Be good, tend your gardens, and have feasts three times a year. If you do this eventually God will send an Angel to you who will defeat the enemies of the Israelites.

Moral Lessons:

Cultivate Your Garden (Exodus 23: 11)

Don’t take bribes (Exodus 23: 8)

Don’t go along with the masses, think for yourself (Exodus 23:2)

Be honest and truthful, even with people you don’t like (Exodus 23:4)

Exodus 24: The Gory Glory of God

Synopsis:

God tells Moses to go and gather 70 elders plus his lieutenants because he wants to speak to them. So Moses builds an altar of stone and 12 pillars to represent the 12 tribes of Israel. Young men offered burnt offerings and peace offerings of oxen. Moses took half of the blood and put it in basis. The other half he sprinkled on the altar. He read the covenant to the assembled and said, this we shall obey. And he sprinkled the rest of the blood on the people and said, “behold, the blood of the covenant.”  Then the 70 elders, Moses and a few others went up to meet god. Under God’s feet was a paved work of sapphire stone so clear it looked like heaven.  He did not smite the 70, and everyone ate and drank and had a good time. Then the elders went back. Aaron and Hur were put in charge of them. God, Moses and Joshua go up the mount. God surrounds himself with clouds so he can put together stone tablets with the law and commandments. On the 7^th day the mount is covered in fire and God calls to Moses to join him. Moses sat on the mount with God for forty days and forty nights.

In other words:

This cult of Moses turns out to be a blood cult. After pouring blood on everyone, Moses goes to commune with God on a mountain for 40 days.

My response to this chapter:

No wonder Moses was adamant that if the Egyptians saw how they gave sacrifice to their God they would be horrified and would attack them and that was the reason why they had to go to the mountains to do it.  It’s bloody. And they are pouring blood all over themselves! And normal people viewing this would have been shocked and horrified and yeah, would have thought them mentally deranged and therefore dangerous.  This is a cult! In the worst sense of cult.

Favorite bit:

That 70 elders got to see God and the saphhire pavement he walked upon. That would be cool (Exodus 24: 10)

Least favorite bit:

Exodus 24:8 – where Moses sprinkles ox blood over all the assembled. I had a very bad visceral reaction to this and seriously, makes me think that these folks were crazy.

Moral Lesson learned:

Cults have always existed. Be careful who you hang out with (exodus 24)