Deuteronomy 34: The death of Moses

Synopsis:

Moses goes up to Moab and is shown the land that God promised to give the children of Israel. He dies at the age of 120 and is buried in the valley in the land of Moab, over against Beth peor, but no man knowleth of his sepulchre (Deuteronomy 34:6). Everyone mourns for 30 days and Joshua takes over the tribe.

In other words:

Moses dies at the age of 120 and is buried somewhere in Moab. Joshua takes over.

Favorite bit:

Deuteronomy 34:6 – this is  a very specific geographic description of where he is buried. Surely someone should be able to find his grave.

2nd favorite bit:

Deuteronomy 34:7 – And Moses was 120 years old when he died: his eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated.

3rd favorite bit:

Deuteronomy 34:10 – An there arose not a prophet since in Israel like unto Moses, where the Lord knew face to face.

What I liked the most:

Honestly? That it was a short chapter. I also liked that it was a nice homage to Moses and that it is clear, his story is over and we can move over to other stories. The extensive repetition of this story over and over and over was – repetitive. After all Deuteronomy is the 5th book of Moses. He’s dominated the story enough. Time to make room for someone else.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Even the best stories have to end sometime (Deuteronomy 34)

Numbers 1: Get Out Your Abacus

Synopsis:

God commands Moses to count all the men 20 years and older so they can prepare for war. They are to be counted by tribe.

Reuben - 46,500
Simeon – 59,300
Gad – 45,650
Judah – 74,600 (3 score 14 thousand and 600)
Issachar – 54,400
Zebulun 57,400
Joseph (Ephraim) – 40,500
Manasseh – 32,200
Benjamin – 35,400
Dan – 62,700 (3 score 2,00 and 700)
Asher – 41,500
Naphthali – 53,400

Total – 603,550

 The Levites were not includes in this number. The reason is because the Levites are in charge of the temple, they aren’t part of the army getting ready for war.

In other words:

One year after they left Egypt with 6,000 people – they counted up the men they have who can fight and they now have 603,500 men of fighting age – not including the women and children living in an encampment in the desert.

Why I think these numbers are wrong:

First, the largest city in Egypt at this time probably had 40,000 to 60,000 people in it (Memphis or Thebes). So having an encampment 10 times the size of a huge city isn’t likely.

Second: 603,500 is a city the size of Denver CO. It’s a huge number. And this is only the fighting age men. In reality – to support them and to include the women – you probably had double that so close to 1.2 million people – which is a city the size of Dallas Texas – living in an encampment in the desert.

Third: Even with a really robust sexual propagation program and including the slaves these people probably took with them, it’s unlikely you could get a 100 fold increase of people in 1 year.

What now makes sense about Leviticus

Even if the number of people in the encampment was a fraction of this number, it does explain why they had so many rules about cleanliness. The logistics of keeping feces out of your drinking water and taking away waste and getting clean water and preventing the spread of disease in an encampment of this size would have been enormous.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Always double check your numbers (Numbers 1)

Numbers 2: Pitch Your Tent

Synopsis:

God tells Moses and Aaron where everyone should pitch their tents in relationship to the Tabernacle.  For the record here is how the encampment was laid out:

East of the Tabernacle: (186,400 men – 1st rank)
Judah (Nashon is captain)
Issachar (Nethaneel is captain)
Zebulum (Eliab is captain)

South of the Tabernacle: (151,450 men – 2nd rank)
Reuben (Elizur is captain)
Simeon (Shelumiel is captain)
Gad (Eliasaph is captain)

The Levites are to camp around the Tabernacle and take care of it – so they are in the center

West of the Tabernacle: (108,100 men – 3rd rank)
Ephraim (Elishama is captain)
Manesseh (Gamliel is captain)
Benjamin (Abidan is captain)

North of the Tabernacle: (157,600 men – 4th rank)
Dan (Ahiezer is captain)
Asher (Pagiel is captain)
Naphtali (Ahira is captain)

In other words:

The armies are organized and people are given their sleeping assignments.

Favorite bit:

That the numbers add up correctly.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Stay organized. Everything has it’s place.(Numbers 2)

Numbers 3: The Levites get their assignments

Synopsis:

The Levites belong to God so he wants every male child over 1 month counted. Here are their numbers, assignments regarding care of the Tabernacle and where they are to sleep. There are 22,000 males over 1 month old, except that there are more like 22,273 males, except that the numbers counted add up to 22,300.

Gershon Family: 7,500
Sleep west of the Tabernacle.
Chief is Eliasaph.
Responsible for Tent and door hangings and cords

Kohath Family: 8,600
Sleep south of the Tabernacle
Chief is Elisaphan
Responsible for care of Ark, table, candlesticks, altars and vessels.

Merari Family: 6,200
Sleep north of the Tabernacle
Chief is Zuriel
Responsible for boards, pillars and sockets

Moses and Aaron:
Sleep east of the Tabernacle
Responsible for the Sanctuary – kill any stranger that comes nigh


The last bit of this chapter is confusing because the odd number over 22,000  (273) is given 5 shekels each  1,365  and this money is given to Aaron and his sons.

In other words:

The Levites are given their assignments.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Double check your math (Numbers 3)

Numbers 4: Levite workers are counted:

Synopsis:

Only the men between the ages of 30 and 50 are allowed to do the work servicing the temple and it has to be done in a very specific way lest they accidentally touch the holy things and die.  Here are the numbers of workers from each family.

Kohath  - 2,750
Gershon  - 2,630
Merari – 3,200

Total – 8,580

In other words:

Only Levites 30 to 50 can work on the Tabernacle.

Favorite bit:

Numbers 4:15 – The sons of Kohath shall come to bear it: but they shall not touch any holy thing, lest they die. None of the other Levites are threatened this way. This must be because they have to bear the altar and all the gold stuff which is actually worth something. Aaron is to oversee everyone’s work and make sure everything is ready to be transported before the Kohath’s come in because if they see the holy things, they will die. Pretty sure – they don’t want their pretty things to get stolen.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Make sure everyone knows what they are supposed to be doing (Numbers 4:19)

Leviticus 1: Rules for Killing and Burning Offerings

Synopsis: 

The rules of what to offer, how to offer it, how to kill it, where to sprinkle the blood, and exactly how to cook it are laid out. Three classifications of animals are included in these rules: cows, flock animals like sheep and goats and fowl. All offerings must be unblemished.

In other words:

God tells Moses how to kill and cook meat.

Favorite bit:

Leviticus 1:16 –“And he shall pluck his crop and feathers, and cast it besides the altar on the east part, by the place of the ashes.”

Moral Lessons Learned:

Flay your meat before cooking it. (Leviticus 1)

Leviticus 2: Rules for Offering Bread

Synopsis: 

If you offer flour – you must also offer oil and frankincense.  A portion of this will be burned by the priests.  Any baked bread must be unleavened and made with fine flour and oil. Same rule applies if the bread is baked in a pan or in an oven. All bread offerings must include salt. A portion of bread will be burnt, the rest is the property of the priests. Raw grains can be offered as long as they are dried. This is treated the same way as an offering of flour and you must include oil and frankincense.

In other words: 

You may offer bread as an offering, but it must be unleavened and include salt.

Favorite bit:

That “meat” offerings are actually offerings of flour goods.

Most interesting bit:

That you aren’t allowed to burn leavened bread or bread made with honey.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Don’t forget to put salt in your bread. (Leviticus 2)

Leviticus 3: Peace Offerings

Synopsis:

A peace offering can be cow, sheep or goat. Same rules for slaughter and cooking except you are not allowed to cook the kidneys and the fat upon the kidneys. Those have to be taken away. Also, you are not allowed to eat blood or fat ever.

In other words:

If you want to make a peace offering, don’t cook the kidneys.

Favorite bit:

That the kidneys and the fat on the kidneys are to be taken away. No idea why, just, if it’s a peace offering, don’t cook those.

Most interesting bit:

That at the end, a blanket prohibition on eating fat and blood is given. This doesn’t appear to be related to the sacrifices, it’s literally “a perpetual statue for your generations that ye eat neither fat nor blood.” (Leviticus 3:17)

Moral Lesson Learned:

Don’t drink blood. (Leviticus 3)
And
Don’t eat animal fat (Leviticus 3) – though I don’t agree with that.

Leviticus 4: What happens if you violate any of the commandments

Synopsis:

If a priest violates a commandment, bring a bullock to be slaughtered. The priest will take the blood, dip his fingers in it, put some on the horns of the altar and then take the fat and burn it on the altar. The rest of the cow will be taken out of town and burned. If the entire congregation sins, then all the heads of the tribes have to put their hands on the bullock before the ritual is done and then the entire congregation will be forgiven. If a ruler sins and violates the commandments He needs to bring the kid of a goat, and then the blood ritual is done and the fat burned. Not sure what happens to the rest of the goat. If a commoner sins and violates the commandment they need to bring a female got, and then the blood is offered and fat burned. If he brings a lamb instead of a goat, this is ok, the sacrifice will be done and the person forgiven.

In other words:

If you violate the 10 commandments, that’s ok, as long as you did it out of ignorance. Just make a sin offering and all will be forgiven.

Most interesting bit:

That it was assumed the priests, as well as everyone else, would sin and that there is a method to atone, fairly easily for those sins.

Favorite bit:

Leviticus 4:11 “And the kin of the bullock, and all his flesh, with his head, and with his legs, and his inwards and his dung.”  Not sure if this is for burning or part of the bull being taken out to be burnt out of town.

Moral Lessons Learned:

If you make a mistake, fix it. (Leviticus 4)

Leviticus 5: Don’t Swear

Synopsis:

This chapter lays out the rules on how to atone for swearing or for touching unclean things and unclean parts of a man. It doesn’t matter if the words leaving your lips were evil or nice. You have to provide a female sheep or a kid of a goat. If you can’t afford that, you can bring two turtledoves or pigeons.  The blood will be sprinkled besides the altar and at the bottom to atone for your sins.  If you can’t afford that, you can bring some flour, but don’t put oil or frankincense on it, for it’s a sin offering.  If someone commits a sin against holy things, than they need to provide a ram plus you have to make amends for what you did.

In other words:

If you swear, you have to pay a small fine in the form of a sheep or some birds.

Favorite bit:

Leviticus 5:3 – “Or if he touch the uncleanliness of man, whatsoever uncleanliness it be that a man defiled withal, and it be hid from him; when he knoweth of it, then he shall be guilty. “ I have no idea what this is referring to, probably skin sores because that takes up quite of bit of this book later, but you never know. My first thought is that it is referring to a penis or poo, so this bit amuses me.

Moral Lesson:

Don’t swear (Leviticus 5) and/or
If you do something wrong, make amends and fix it (Leviticus 5:16)

Leviticus 6: Rules about lying and the burnt offerings

Synopsis:

If you lie, or are deceitful or take someone else’s property by force, you need to return it plus another 1/5th of what it was worth and bring an unblemished ram for sacrifice. This chapter then pivots to Aaron having to keep the fire burning all the time and how to dispose of the ashes (Put on your blood soaked linen garments, take the ashes out and put them to the side. Change into your regular clothes and take the ashes out of town to a clean place.) Finally it closes with how much Aaron and his sons are supposed to eat of the offerings and exactly where in the complex they are to eat things. And what they aren’t supposed to eat (If it is a meat/bread offering from the priests themselves – that isn’t to be eaten).

In other words:

Don’t lie cheat or steal and keep your altar clean of ashes.

Favorite bit:

That in order to clean the ashes out Aaron has to wear the blood soaked linen outfit. (Leviticus 6:10)

Most interesting bit:

That things are holy if they get the blood of the sacrifice on them except for earthen vessels, which need to be broken if sodden. Metal vessels can be scoured and cleaned. (Leviticus 6:28)

This must be important:

(Leviticus 6:30) Don’t eat blood offerings. Burn it on the altar instead.

Moral Lesson Learned: 

Keep your grill and fireplace clean of ashes. (Leviticus 6)

Leviticus 7: Trespass Offerings, Peace Offerings and Portions for the Priests

Synopsis: 

It is a trespass offering, give the rump and the fat, the kidneys get taken away. It’s all burned and the male priests shall eat it. If it is a sin offering, the priest gets the skin of the burnt offering. If it is a meat offering,  if it is baked in a pan or fried it is for the priest. Any offering needs to be eaten the same day. You can eat anything left over the 2nd day. But if it goes to a third day, don’t eat it.  If it is unclean, don’t eat it. If it is clean, that you can eat.  If you eat anything unclean, you will be cut off from the people.  Don’t eat fat. You can use it for other things, but don’t eat it.  If you eat fat, you will be cut off from the people. Don’t eat blood. If you eat blood, you will be cut off from the people.  If it is a peace offering, the fat shall be burned but Aaron and the priests get the right shoulder.

In other words: 

Aaron and his sons, the other priests, get a portion of all offerings for themselves, but they have to eat it promptly. If it goes more than a few days, they need to burn the rest of it, presumably so they don’t get food poisoning.

Favorite bit:

(Leviticus 7: 18) Don’t eat flesh offerings after 3 days. I like this because it makes sense. They didn’t have refrigeration. The meat would probably go bad if left too long.

Odd bit:

If you eat fat, or blood you will be cut off from the people. Not sure what was so bad about that. I understand if you touch something unclean (Leviticus 7:21) getting cut off, because you could be contagious too, but blood and fat eating. Not sure how that would make you dangerous to the others.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Don’t let your food go to waste (Leviticus 7:18)

Leviticus 8: The blood sacrifice begins

Synopsis:

After all the talking and discussing and laying of rules, the blood sacrifice begins. Aaron is clothed, anointed with oil and a bull is killed, blood sprinkled and the bull cooked. A ram is killed, blood sprinkled and the ram cooked. Another ram is killed, this blood is poured on Aaron and his sons. They are then told to boil this ram and eat it and then stay within the tabernacle for seven days until they are “officially” consecrated.

In other words:

The first sacrifice is finally made. It doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it was described, but perhaps that’s just the redundancy.

Favorite bit:

That we probably don’t have to hear about this first sacrifice in such detail ever again.

Moral Lesson Learned:

If you have to do something unpleasant – just get it over with. (Leviticus 8)

Leviticus 9: Burning fat causes a fire

Synopsis:

On the 8th day, after the initial consecration, Aaron emerges and they start the other sacrifices, peace, sin, etc. All is going as it should, but apparently they put too much fat upon the altar that they weren’t supposed to and a huge fire erupts out of the altar.

In other words:

Burning fat for a sacrifice inside a tent causes a fire.

Favorite bit:

Leviticus 9:24 – “And there came a fire out from before the Lord, and consumed upon the altar the burnt offering and the fat which when all the people saw, they shouted and fell on their faces.” It must have been some fire that erupted.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Be careful when grilling, always have a fire extinguisher ready in case of fire. (Leviticus9:24)

Leviticus 10: Two Sons of Aaron are killed in the altar fire

Synopsis:

It turns out that two of Aarons sons were killed in the fire in chapter 9. This is attributed to them not doing things EXACTLY as the lord wanted. The bodies are taken out of town and they are not to be mourned. Aaron promises to do better and to take better care to make sure his kids do the offerings properly in the future. This appeases Moses.

In other words:

2 sons of Aaron are killed in the altar fire.

Favorite bit:

That new rules are placed upon Aaron and his sons and daughters concerning what they may eat or drink so that this doesn’t happen again. Basically, it comes down to this (Leviticus 10:9) “Do not drink wine nor strong drink thou, nor thy sons with they, when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation lest ye die.”

Moral Lesson Learned:

Don’t grill while drunk, for safety reasons. It’s important that you don’t let your fire get out of control. (Leviticus 10:9)

Exodus 1: Help! The Israelites are everywhere!

Synopsis:

Joseph dies and a new Pharaoh who doesn’t know about Joseph takes over and is worried about all these Israelis who are living in Egypt. So he hatches a plan to drive them out of Egypt by enslaving them and he tells the Hebrew midwives, if a Jewish boy is born – kill him, you can let the girl children live though. The midwives ignore Pharaoh’s orders and the Israelites multiply. God gave the midwives houses to thank them for not killing the boy babies. Pharoah is not amused and he once again orders all the sons of Israel killed saying they should be cast into the river.

In other words:

There are a lot of Hebrews in Egypt and Pharaoh wants them gone. He orders the boy children killed, but is ignored.

Favorite bit:

Exodus: 1:17 The midwives ignore Pharaoh.

Moral:

If you want something done, you have to do it yourself (Exodus 1)

Exodus 2: Moses in a nutshell

Synopsis:

Moses is born to a man from the house of Levi. He is hidden for 3 months, then his mother sets him adrift in an arc on the river. He is found by Pharoah’s daughter. She hires Moses’s mom to nurse hi. He grows up sees the Hebrews toiling, and sees an Egyptian “smiting” a Hebrew. So he kills the Egyptian and hides the body. The next day and couple of Hebrews ask him why he killed the man and does he plan to kill them as well. Pharaoh finds out and wants to kill Moses but Moses runs away to the land of Midian but they think he is an Egyptian. Long story short, he is allowed to stay and marry one of priests daughters and she had a son. In the meantime Pharaoh dies and is replaced by a new King. All seems well except that God finally realizes the people of Israel are suffering in Egypt and decides he is going to do something about it.

In other words: 

Moses is born, grows up, kills an Egyptian, flees, gets married, and has a son.

Favorite bit:

Exodus 2: 14 – where the two Hebrew’s challenge Moses over the murder – who made thee a prince and a judge over us?

Least favorite bit:

(Exodus 2: 24,25) God is reintroduced, rather unnecessarily it seems.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Murder is murder and it is never justified. (Exodus 2: 13,14)

Exodus 3: Moses has a psychotic vision

Synopsis:

So there is Moses, minding his own business, minding the sheep of Jethro (his father in law) when all of a sudden, a bush bursts into flames. Moses wants to look but God (the burning bush) tells him not to and to take off his shoes. God then tells Moses that he intends to deliver the Israelits out of Egypt and give them the land of Canaan, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites Hivites and the Jebusites, Oh, and by the way – the land will flow with Milk and Honey. So Moses should go and tell all the elders about it so they can be ready. Moses says, uh, one problem; they aren’t going to believe me. No problem says God, tell them my name is I AM and they will believe you. Once you have them all together, go as a group and ask Pharaoh to let you go and make sacrifice to me for three days up here on the mountain. Pharaoh won’t let you go so I will smite them. When you are finally allowed to go, make sure to steal all the wealth from your Egyptian friends before you go.

In other words:

Moses sees and hears a vision of god which involves flames and a plan to free the Israelites, which Moses is pretty skeptical about.

What I think really happened:

Moses is starting to have hallucinations and has schizophrenia or a related mental health issue. It does run in his family after all.

Favorite bit:

Exodus 3:13 Moses tells god – this isn’t going to work, no one is going to believe me.

Most annoying bit:

Exodus 3:18-22) Let me get this straight. God is going to deliver the Israelit’s from Egypt, but first, he has to make everyone suffer a great deal because Pharaoh has to say no so that I AM can smite them. And while we are at it, why exactly do the Israelites need to steal the wealth of their Egyptian friends?

Most interesting bit:

That Moses is skeptical of the plan, but not skeptical of the fact a burning bush is talking to him.

Moral Lesson Learned:

It is permissible to argue with God if God has a really stupid idea. (Exodus: 3:14)

Other moral lesson learned:

When confronted by a burning talking bush – it is perfectly ok to be skeptical. In fact, it’s preferable to question whether you are really experiencing what you seem to be experiencing. 

Exodus 6: God Gives a Pep Talk to Moses

Synopsis:

God tells Moses he will deliver the Israelites out of Egypt and give you the land I promised Abraham and Isaac and Jacob. Moses tries to rally the Israelites, but they refuse to listen. So God tells Moses to speak once again to Pharaoh. Moses says no, he can’t he has uncircumcised lips. We are then treated to a family lineage and once again God tells Moses to speak to Pharaoh and once again, Moses says, no, he will not listen to a man with uncircumcised lips.

In other words:

Moses wants to give up. God won’t let him.

Favorite bit:

(Exodus 6: 7) “And I will take you to me for a people and I will be to you a God.” So, is this being not a god, but kind of wanting to be a god? Sounds a bit fishy to me.  Again, still thinking this is a bit of a hallucination.

Most annoying bit:

(Exodus 6:14-27) Yet another genealogy. Apparently this is to provide us information that Aaron is older, but Moses is the leader.

What I learned:

When looking up the phrase uncircumcised lips – it apparently means that Moses didn’t speak well. An uncircumcised ear doesn’t hear well. An uncircumcised heart doesn’t feel well and an uncircumcised lip doesn’t speak well. Which implies an uncircumcised penis must not have sex well?

Moral Lesson Learned:

Not speaking well is no excuse for not standing up to oppression. (Exodus 6)

Exodus 7: Red Tide comes to Egypt

Synopsis:

God tells Moses that he shall be a god to Pharaoh and Aaron shall be his prophet. But this won’t work because God will harden Pharaoh’s heart. So they go and do the trick with the Rod turning into snake but all of Pharaoh’s magicians can do that trick too. Then they turn the Nile into blood and it is smelly and no one can drink it, but the Magicians of Egypt can do the same trick, so no big deal, Pharaoh still won’t let the Israelites go.

In other words:

Moses and Aaron do miracles for Pharaoh, but he isn’t impressed.

Favorite bit:

That Moses is to take on the role of god in an effort to get Pharaoh to let them go. So basically, Moses will be telling Aaron what to do and Aaron will do it and this is supposed to make Pharaoh think Moses is a god.

What I think really happened with the bloody river:

I have lived near the water my entire life. Red tide happens and it is pretty much exactly what this is described as. Also, I’ve been friends with magicians. They like taking credit for weird natural occurrences. It adds to their mystique. What I think happened is that a bout of red tide bloomed in the Nile and Moses and Aaron claimed responsibility, but all the magicians of Egypt knew enough to know that wasn’t so.

Moral Lesson Learned:

Don’t be fooled by “magic” (exodus 7:11)